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Down

by Fennel Flowers

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  • three (union-printed) stickers featuring the album art from Down; put them up in dive bar bathrooms to let everybody know a person of taste and distinction forlornly pissed there.

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1.
I’m softer now than I’ve ever been And I bleed before I know I’m cut I pink the foam lying in the sink I dissolve at the lightest touch Never knew what it would mean to me Not sure what it means now I need to get you near to me Not sure if I know how My heart’s an easy bake oven No fire just a little bit of light It takes some time to get me going Will you wait for me tonight I yield my water to the rain I bloom when the season comes You pry me open tenderly Thorns pricking in your thumbs Never knew this kind of feeling Didn’t know I could feel this much I’m a different kind of creature now Is my blood cold to the touch? My heart’s an easy bake oven No fire just a little bit of light It takes some time to get me going Will you wait for me tonight It won’t stay dark forever Come on it’s now or never I want to keep this bruise forever Under our skin we bleed together
2.
Holding your face in both hands Trying my best not to vomit Giving something I don’t have To someone who doesn’t want it Lately I have been feeling Like my head is on fire Smoke circling inward Always spiraling higher And darling who will we both be When we meet at the vertex What do we have in common Other than bad drugs and good sex? I don’t want to fall in love with you I hope that I don’t fall in love with you (Your place or mine) Feeling just like my old house Either infested or haunted Giving something I don’t have To someone who doesn’t want it Making eyes at the windows Counting up each means of egress Missing everything you said Listening intently for subtext Cutting off my soliloquy Not to reveal myself completely Dying just to be near you Trying to do so discreetly I don’t want to fall in love with you I hope that I don’t fall in love with you Don’t tell me That I’m ok I know I feel Profoundly sane Going Less deranged All the time These days Free-falling In your building's Elevator I don’t want to fall in love with you I hope that I don’t fall in love with you
3.
You cut your finger On the pull tab of A can of coke I stuck it in my mouth Out of instinct But played it off as a joke The taste of copper Rich and clean upon my lips Your pulse beat thunderously Alive inside my grip Don’t let me get away With not saying it You fucking hate when I play it cool My tongue waiting for sweetness To untangle it claiming I love you like a fool
4.
Hold Me Down 02:14
I used to go out To kiss whatever resounded I used to make light With pressure and friction alone Under the covers I keep myself surrounded Radiating Heat just like a stone Now it’s quiet Now it’s cool Now I make the dark Out of you In my arms Without a sound I get lighter than air But you hold me down

about

songs about crushing and being crushed, written throughout 2023 and recorded in november in a mad dash.

performed on three guitars (in four tunings), one mandolin, one bass, one nasty little drum machine, three microphones, one laptop, and the uncountable background noises of my house and neighborhood.

credits

released December 3, 2023

words, music, mixing, and mastering (whatever that is) by fennel flowers

art by jacob bayard; IG: @xbabyjakeyx

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Fennel Flowers San Francisco, California

songer-singwriter just trying their best

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